I’ll be brutally honest with you. This is not the first time I start this blog. During the past years I have started this blog at least three or four times. Here, on Tumblr, now here again …
Why I keep deleting the old blogs and starting a new one? Well, that is a great question. I guess the first reason is that I’m not much of a writer and writing to create content for a blog takes time, and also takes having something to say, something to share with your audience. The second reason is that you have to be somehow constant, and I’m not. People come to your site to see what is new with you, what are you up to. If you are not constant, at least to some degree they lose interest. These always been a struggle for me. I am really good at taking photos constantly. I am one of these people who take a camera EVERYWHERE. Seriously. I’ve been in the shower, sometimes, and the camera is resting by the sink. Why? I don’t know but there is. My loyal companion.
…Always doing stuff. Always creating. I look up to them and I wonder why I can’t be like them!…
The thing is that this inability to keep a constant or semi-constant flow of posts in my blog always made me feel so bad about myself. I almost felt inadequate. You know, you see all these photographers out there with these constant stream of posts. All this creativity flowing through their brains. Always doing stuff. Always creating. I look up to them and I wonder why I can’t be like them! So far this is what I figured out. We are all different therefore we all share in a different way. And I don’t have to be like them.
Also there is another thing that keeps bothering about myself. I see all these photographers developing these amazing bodies of work. You see that they are committed to a theme and they go and go till they exhausted it. Then I go to my photos, my personal photos, and I don’t see that, is more of a constant stream of random images. But when you look at them as a whole there is actually a sense of continuity, it’s just not defined by a recognizable theme. Why is that? Well, it is difficult to pinpoint a theme when the theme is my life.
Recently I was listening Matt Day’s podcast, and I think it was when he was talking with Nate Matos, when Nate was saying something like he never shoots thinking of a project, he just shoots what he likes and then after he actually realises that there is a sort of common thread, a connection, in between some images, and that becomes a body of work in itself. That made me think of my own photography and how I shoot, and how when I go through my photos I keep finding these connections in between some of the images. It is almost like there are little projects within the photos I have taken through the years.
Suddenly my inadequacy was gone! I’m just different from other photographers and that is ok. I have my own thing going on. It works for me. And even I look up to them, that doesn’t mean I have to run my creativity or share it in the same way they do.
Oh! Before I finish, one more line … Happy birthday to me.